7 Important Things We Wish Guys Knew About Dating


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By Mary Patterson Broome; Photography by Unsplash

You KNOW a dude’s done number 4 to you before…

The sentiment is pretty much universal: Dating sucks. Okay, maybe it doesn’t always suck, but getting to know someone new under the premise of, “Hey, maybe we’d like to bone and/or marry each other at some point in the future?” is stressful for anyone.

But as women, we wish there were a few do’s and don’ts men had in their back pocket from the get-go.

Here, the facts we’d like our potential lovers to arm themselves with when approaching the good ole’ fashioned 21st century courtship:

1. Ask. Her. Out. Yes, we’re unfortunately forced to state the obvious. Whether it’s at the gym or the bar, or even on a dating app (like Tinder), guys these days are so hesitant to just pull the trigger and request a time and a place to enjoy our company. Has hiding behind your smart phone or computer screen really made you that apathetic about taking a gal out for a proper date? Take the plunge; trust us. Society and (maybe) your penis will thank you.

2. A compliment at the beginning of the first date is welcome; an aggressive knee grab isn’t. We really appreciate hearing that you like our dress. But telling us our threads are sexy while pulling an excessively long, creepy lower back caress? Hard pass. It’s the beginning of the date; we don’t know if we’re into this yet and the alcohol hasn’t decided for us yet either.

Read More: 7 Signs You’re Dating A Narcissit

3. We love when you ask questions about us. This is one of those simple things dudes can do to make us dig you a little more. We love hearing about your scuba diving trips, mom and cat, but we would love if you also inquired about our job, dog, sibling, and TV binge watch guilty pleasure. The showing-actual-interest-in-our-lives struggle is real.

4. We put SO much damn work into preparing for this. Please remember how much Rand your dream girl might have dropped on pre-date prep. Waxing, shaving, manicures, pedicures, artfully applying makeup, getting our hair done or sweating through doing it ourselves – that’s all time and money, man. And none of that even accounts for what goes into picking out an outfit that’s flirty but still says, “Oh this?”

What did you do, shower? Cool. Just making sure.

5. The 3-day rule is archaic. If you had fun, send an SMS the next day to tell us that. We repeat: Please don’t worry about seeming over-eager. We’d like to hear from you, and a message takes less than a minute. Oh, and don’t be weirded out if we Whatsapp you first. IT MEANS WE LIKE YOU.

Read More: 8 Signs He Isn’t Actually A Nice Guy

6. If we have sex with you on the first date, it’s because we want to. It’s not because we’re “easy” or “slutty” or any other tired AF label. It’s 2016, and if getting some action on the first date is the only reason you don’t want to go out again, thank you. You probably did us a favour.

7. Getting a little tipsy is OK; getting student-level drunk is not. For those who drink it, alcohol can be a welcome social lubricant for a man and a woman considering each other for penetration, but we’d advise you not black-out. You’re not getting any if you’re throwing up in the Uber before the first kiss.

Looking for more dating advice? Here are 11 things we wish guys understood about kissing.  

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