7 Hysterically Unsexy Thoughts We’ve ALL Had During Sex
By Women’s Health
Ring a bell?
Even though sex is freaking great, it can feel almost impossible to turn off your brain even in the hottest scenario. Seriously, the focus on the deed at hand can go AWOL, long before your bra does. We bring you seven not-so-sexy thoughts we’ve all probably had during nookie.
1. Does My Stomach/Butt/Face Look Fat?
We aren’t saying you should dance to Beyoncé’s Flawless nude in the bathroom mirror until you can accomplish this, but… actually, yes, that’s exactly what we’re saying. He was probably turned on by the way you pressed the remote. Trust us, he is in heaven being naked with you. Men definitely don’t focus on women’s perceived flaws, especially when they’re admiring the view.
2. I’ve Got to Schedule a Haircut
Sure, you’ve got a bit of a split-end village on your head, but what’s another week or so with stressed strands and bangs so long they impair your vision? You’re going to have sex hair in about 20 minutes anyway.
3. Why Does He Look Like He’s in Pain?
It’s hard to tell if he is in pain or ecstasy. If we didn’t know any better, we’d think sometimes they’re clenching through an old sports injury flare-up, not getting busy with a beautiful lady.
4. Mmm, Pizza Would Be Amazing Right Now
Food fantasies are totally legit. Being famished can be par for the course during intercourse (we couldn’t resist). Maybe you can work this pizza thing into foreplay? Just sayin’.
5. Did I Take My Birth Control This Morning?
Oh sh*t. Abort mission. Find condom. Resume mission. Phew.
6. Uh-Oh. I Never Sent My Boss That Revised Plan. Pick Up the Pace, Dude!
This task would literally take less than a minute, but you probably can’t relax until it’s done. If you’re planning to email it at 12:03 am, what’s the harm in waiting until 12:15, unless you and your partner are some kind of superhuman sex marathoners. If that’s the case, we salute you, and it’s totally your call on whether you should halt the festivities until your work obligation is finished (or you are).
7. Oh, That New Netflix Show Started Streaming Today
Maybe you should Netflix now and sex later. Isn’t that what Netflix and chillin’ means anyway?