3 Things You’ve Always Believed About Men And Sex That Aren’t True
By Tracy Erb Middleton and Sarah Lorge Butler
Our best sex advice ever: What’s true and what’s false when it comes to good sex
When you were younger, you might have believed a lot of funny stuff about sex – like the idea that you could lose your virginity to a tampon – but now that you’re older and wiser, most sex myths are pretty easy to spot.
Still, there’s the occasional snippet of sexual hearsay that keeps you guessing, and all that misinformation could be preventing you from reaching your peak between the sheets. We asked those in the know to help us discern what’s true, what’s false and what’s just plain wishful thinking when it comes to sex.
1. Men Reach Their Sexual Peak At 18 And Women Reach Theirs At 28
No, your sex lives aren’t doomed to be perpetually out of sync. Men’s testosterone levels peak around 18, but hormones are only one small factor in male sexual performance, says Dr Marc Goldstein, a professor of Reproductive Medicine and Urology. And women have no set peak.
If you and your partner need to sync your libidos, agree to take turns initiating sex every few days. “Sex at least once a week is like vitamins for a relationship,” says sex therapist Dr Ian Kerner, founder of www.goodinbed.com.
2. He’s Intimidated By Your Vibrator
Wrong! In fact, your guy might be secretly hoping you’ll bust out a new “toy friend” during your next romp. According to a WH/MH Online Sex Survey, 53 percent of women have used a battery-powered buddy with their partner and 43 percent of guys would be willing to give it a go.
And it goes beyond him watching you go wild: “Many men find vibration pleasurable on their penis and other body parts,” says Dr Debby Herbenick, are search scientist and author of Because It Feels Good. If he’s up for it, vary the vibration speed and intensity to find something that revs up both of you.
3. Men Can’t Have More Than One Climax
The idea that guys get only one shot (so to speak) at orgasm comes from mistaking ejaculation for climax, says Kerner. While your guy does have physical limitations on how quickly he can produce and release sperm, he can still experience repeated peaks of arousal while doing the deed.
The trick is to bring him this close to climaxing and then ease off so that he feels the toe-curling contractions of orgasm without ejaculating – this is considered to be a partial climax.
“Ask him to tell you when he’s about to go over the edge, then gently squeeze the head of his penis to pull him back,” says Kerner. “Focus on kissing or stroking another part of his body for 30 seconds – long enough for him to cool down a bit, but not long enough for him to lose his erection – then start up again.” Repeat until he begs for mercy.
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