Why You Always Feel Like Peeing During Sex
Any number of things might run through your mind during sex—and hopefully all of them are a version of “this is amazing.”
But every now and then—in addition to random thoughts, like “did I remember to turn the oven off?”—you’ll realise that, crap, you feel like you need to pee. Mood killer, amiright?
Why do I feel like I have to pee?
Dr. Alyssa Dweck, a gynaecologist in New York, says there are a number of things that might contribute to the feeling that you need to run to the bathroom. Chief among them? You had to pee before sex and didn’t realise it until you were already getting hot and heavy.
Dweck says that pressure on the bladder—whether it’s from thrusting or because you decided to try a more creative sex position—can make you realise you need to pee.
Vaginal dryness, as well as sensitivity to a lubricant or condom, might also cause irritation and swelling around the urethra, and subsequently lead to the urge to pee, says Dweck. In order to figure out what the root cause is, Dweck recommends eliminating potential irritants, then reintroducing them one at a time to see if symptoms resolve (or worsen). (Just don’t eliminate the condom! Try experimenting with other brands.)
Weak pelvic floor muscles (say hi to kegels) may also be the culprit behind that need-to-pee feeling. Nearly one quarter of women are affected by pelvic floor disorders, leading to incontinence, general discomfort, and a need for reduced activity.
Do I actually have to pee or am I about to orgasm?
Feeling like you need to pee during sex could also indicate that you’re about to orgasm. Before you cut and run to the restroom, consider waiting it out a bit—as long as you aren’t in pain.
Of course, there’s also female ejaculation. Research shows experience female ejaculation during sex, or a gush or clear fluid that, well, can feel a lot like peeing.
But is it actual pee? “Some feel it’s just urine, while others say the fluid has a different chemical makeup,” says Dweck. It’s true: Some experts think the fluid comes from the Skene’s glands (tiny glands surrounding the urethra), while others say that it’s just urine. Others say it’s both, including one study in the . So yeah, that one’s still up for debate.
What can I do if I feel like I have to pee during sex?
Well, first of all, make sure you pee before sex next time. Otherwise, you can try to hold it, or just take a T.O. from your bedroom sesh.
But if you think female ejaculation is behind your urgency, you might want to roll with it, says Dweck, adding that “some women opt for water play—such as sex in shower or bath—so it’s masked.”
You could even throw some toys in the mix to stimulate your G-spot (which might encourage squirting) or by trying different positions. (Sex therapist and sexologist Alex Robboy told Women’s Health woman-on-top positions are ideal for achieving female ejaculation.)
Should I be worried about my health if I always have to pee during sex?
Depends. If you constantly feel like you need to pee during sex (or you’re always leaking), then you might be dealing with an underlying health issue, like a urinary tract infection (UTI). Dweck says urgency, the frequent need to urinate (and a burning sensation when you do), and symptoms that worsen during sex are all hallmarks of a UTI. A fever, blood in your urine, back pain, a foul smell, and chills are all signs that it’s time to see a doc.
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